Today, in my history class I can easily tell that I'm probably going to fail a small test we took today. Later on my math teacher gave out two more assignments and apparently 2 other assignments were due today, which I couldn't manage time to get done. At least today I don't have my driver's education class, which spares like 3 hours of my time, however I have it again tomorrow.

Still doing like crap in art. A few days ago I thought I was finally away from depression, but that is apparently false since today things just loved to get worse. I'm slowly becoming more of a slum. And apparently I actually enjoy being away from others. Not many people seem to really give a damn, and most probably don't notice all... well I guess it would be more of the factor that NOBODY notices unless I specifically state it in front of them which I've only done to two people and through my previous journal.

I'd just love to sit in the corner of the room and continue pondering or something, but of which usually leads to dark thoughts anyway... And I can't do that, because if it isn't clear by now, I have to do a hell load of homework and essentially late work.

As of what the dark thoughts are, I wouldn't be able to exactly explain. It's just random visions that involve death, pain, and torment which has no correlation to anything in my life at all. It's not like thoughts in my favor (IE, wishing an enemy would die, etc) except in reverse and like it's simply a mental torment. My fear is simply to lose sanity as it seems. I feel like someday I'm just going to literally go crazy, but I'm assuming that's a few years in the future.

At least at the time I have the day dreams (or whatever you want to call it) I understand it's not truly real, otherwise I know I would probably get trauma or something from it. I also really wonder if I actually have 'real' friends, I know a lot of people, but +90% I haven't done anything with at all. 10% are friends that I did something with 1 or more years ago. Also, I'm always the one who requests to do something with a friend, they never call me.

So, what else is there to say? I believe that sums up the basics of my life currently...