Obviously I've been very busy lately, you can all easily notice I've barely posted anything at all recently. I'm starting to try to doing drawn art instead. I just feel like photography is just stealing an image from nature, it's not really anyone's true creation. Only exception is the partial creativity from the presentation of it... not much else.

Usually every day I just feel like crap and get depressed later on in the day. I've been getting behind with everything, I'm freaking out. I've started to organize a little today however. Tomorrow I also have driver's education after school which means I'm going to be crammed in the school for a whole 10-hour day (from 7am-6:30pm).

Don't worry however, I'm not suicidal at all. And my depression isn't /very/ heavy. It's in-between as you could say. I also haven't done the best in my art class recently, since I lack any creativity/imagination. I'd love to start drawing, and I'm probably in the state of mind for drawing something. Problem is, I can't think of a single thing, so how am I ever supposed to draw? Quite impossible if you ask me. How am I ever supposed to progress within experience of artistic ability if there is strictly no creativity to start from??

I'm losing motivation, and so on. The most irritating part of the depression is that it is completely invisible. Sometimes it's there, and sometimes it isn't. I'm slowly becoming more of a complete slum. Want to know the next most pathetic thing in my life? Guess when the last time I did something with a friend. 4 days, 2 weeks, 4 weeks? Wrong. The last time I did something with a friend was actually A YEAR AGO. I enjoy programming, however I can easily admit this computer is screwing my life away. I practically do nothing now.. just working, complaining, and doing homework.

Oh well, at least my life should eventually get better, who knows. Nobody is probably reading this anyway, so I'm probably just writing a journal that's just wasting space in deviantARTs database system in an ironic attempt to satisfy myself. I honestly think I'm slowly starting to lack friends. And I'm just too damn shy to talk to anyone as it seems. Well, that concludes the journal of my current lifeless life.